Reverse Culture Shock

Well, we're back. Two months and 1000 bug bites later, Izabelle and I have re-entered life in the US. My first thoughts were that it seems surreal to have left rural Dominican Republic on Friday morning and to so quickly be back in the US. Worlds apart, yet so close. I was instantly bombarded by sounds and sights and smells that brought me back, almost too quickly. At every turn my thought was, I wonder how my Dominican friends would react to this or to that. I think what I'm going through is called Reverse Culture Shock, a term used to describe the feelings (of surprise, disorientation, confusion, etc.) experienced when people return to their home country and find they do not fit in as they used to. This may be due to a change in perspective, a decrease in excitement, an appreciation for and of different customs, or because during the travels the home country was idealized. 


Although I could have done without all the mosquitoes, pretty much everything else is ... better there? More down to earth? Simpler, yet others see it as more difficult. Depends on from which end of the spectrum you originate. And I wonder ... is the grass ALWAYS greener?

So many of my Dominican friends have the desire to come to the US to realize the "American Dream". Something that seems so illusive for many Americans and others, and actually unattractive to me personally. Try as I might to present and hold my position, very few Dominican friends every really understand where I'm coming from. They look at me quizzically when I try to explain to them what a paradise they have right where they live. Surrounded by mountains, and palm trees, beautiful beaches, fresh fish from the vast blue Caribbean Ocean, fresh fruits and vegetables galore grown in every backyard on the island, beautiful music to dance to at every turn, and more ... it certainly seems like paradise to me. Perhaps they would try to convince me that what we have here in the US is paradise to them? And then I would be the one looking quizzically at them!


Everyone in every village I've ever visited knows everyone, many being related in some way or another. They pass time by visiting with each other over a cup of coffee or a meal, without thought of time or agenda. They live in the moment, everyday a precious gift, not knowing what tomorrow will bring, not even worrying too much about anything. What a gift this has been for me, to be able to learn to live in the moment, to get lost in conversation and activity, not worried about what's next. 


I have long held my own "Dominican Dream". We'll see if one day soon I can realize it, living in paradise, as it seems to me to be. Thinking about it makes it that much more difficult to re-enter the US. But yet here I am, ready to live in the moment here for as long as it takes to get to the point where I can live in the moment there.

Losing track of time ...

When was the last time you actually forgot which day of the week it was, what time of day it was, or didn´t have a detailed schedule in mind for the next day ... well it´s happened for us here. I think it´s what we´re searching for when we want to truly live IN the moment. No thoughts of past or future moments are running through your mind, you´re just thinking of what is going on at that exact moment in time. Without cell phone in hand constantly, and not wearing a watch, it´s hard to know exactly what time it is. And not being pressed to be anywhere at any particular time, it really isn´t necessary to know the time. Which then leads one to be able to live IN the present moment. One of many gifts we have received over the past couple of months.


So many folks are caught up in accumulating things, amassing savings, etc. They can't figure out how to live IN the here and now. Really that's all we have, this moment, right now. Nothing more is guaranteed. I see this quality in children. But as we get older we are taught to leave that mentality behind, to become consumers, to take care of ourselves, to be independent. I think everyone could use a good dose of what we are getting here!

All Rivers Lead to the Same Ocean

I heard this proverb somewhere this week, and sure enough have experienced several examples recently. Living in a different culture for awhile makes one realize that there are many means of getting to the same end. What I might think is the most logical way of doing something or getting somewhere, is not necessarily the most logical to someone else, especially if they grew up in a culture different from mine. I am determined to let my logic go, in some cases, in favor of those who perhaps know better. I´m definately living outside my comfort zone in these cases, but learning that ... All Rivers Lead to the Same Ocean.

It Rained Today ...

... more than I remember it ever raining here at once in a long time. My plans on Monday this week, which I happened to remember was our Independence Day back home, were to help in Deisi's kitchen for a couple of hours in the morning, eat an early lunch, and then make our way into Barahona. I had some work to do on the computer and then Izabelle had been bugging me for a week to go to the pool or beach! We also had plans to leave sometime this afternoon for Puerta Plata for several days. But with the amount of rain pouring down, everything changed. One of the kitchen helpers didn't show up, rain was coming down in sheets, and I soon realized we weren't going anywhere today and maybe nowhere for several days, which is how everything eventually played out. We stayed put. I worked with Deisi and her staff all day long, peeling a pound of garlic, as I have been doing most mornings, as well as other vegetables such as carrot, potato and tayote. I served water, bussed tables, washed dishes, etc. All the while the rain kept coming down in buckets. I thought it might never stop. I was told the forecast was that it would be like this much of the week. Having seen no news or weather reports myself since early June, I had to accept what I was being told and know that this week would be much different than I had planned. Precisely why Dominicans always complete a forward-thinking statement with the phrase "God willing".

We actually had lots of fun staying put in the rain. At one point Izabelle exclaimed that it was just like being at the pool! So in case you were wondering where my weekly post was, well here it is. A week late. This week's lesson - flexibility - goes hand in hand with patience. If we can't do as we planned on a particular day, then we'll have fun doing what we can do. And we'll readjust our plans for another day.

In the States, rain rarely halts things as it does here. People with vehicles are still able to proceed with most things as planned. But folks traveling by motorbike or public guagua (minivan) are pretty much at a standstill. Unless you don't mind arriving at your destination cold and soaking wet. For me it seemed I wasn't so pressed to be anywhere but right where we were. I didn't even feel so inconvenienced by the weather. I was really needed in the kitchen. The pool and beach will still be there when we can get there. And I was even able to reschedule our trip to Puerto Plata. It seems that some of the patience I've been looking for is beginning to set in, just as I had hoped it would.

Next hitch in the giddyup will be a nationwide strike scheduled for Monday July 11. I've been advised that nobody will go anywhere on that day. Folks will be protesting in the streets against a whole host of perceived injustices such as the price of gasoline (nearly $7 a gallon), the price of food, the lack of constant electricity and water, etc. The National Police force will be out en masse as well as military forces to control the well organized demonstrations in all Dominican provinces. No worries here. I just know in advance to have an extra measure of patience and flexibility in mind on Monday!